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I see you are a Matador. I am El Toro... El Toro... Diablo.

Dream Fodder
Tuesday, June 03, 2003  
I think I'm ready to start blogging again.
Things are going well, but have to get into writing mode again.
Maybe the new house and wireless network will help. We'll see.

6/03/2003 01:28:00 AM

Thursday, January 02, 2003  
11:57 12.31.2002
Almost time.

The last time I had someone special to kiss at midnight New Year's Eve was 1992. Ten years to the day. I don't count any drunken years in between, because although there may have been a few in there where I kissed someone at midnight, I hadn't been "dating" them per se.

11:58 12.31.2002
People are pairing off. It's not looking good for even a drunken rendevous random mug thing. Carly and Josh look to be jumping the gun a little. I guess they're just practicing for that perfect Midnight kiss.

11:59 12.31.2002
"Carly, you know anybody I can kiss?" I ask.
"Well, if you blow on Hazel's face, she'll go crazy." she replies.

12:00 01.01.2003
Ahem, "Happy New Year, Hazel."
Go figure, she's right. Tongue and everything.

12:10 01.01.2003
Well. Now. If only that would work on girls too.

1/02/2003 09:30:00 PM

Friday, November 29, 2002  
What am I thankful for this year?

Why dreams of course!

My tryptophan-induced slumber was not interrupted last night. And what a wonderful thing too. I had probably the best dream a 32 year old guy could have. I have to rank this dream up there with some of the best things I've ever seen; like the sunset in Kona, the statues in the Louvre's sculpture garden through the closed (due to strike) glass doors. It was that good!

In my dream I'm test driving my new car. But not just any car mind you. I'm in ...

the Mach 5!

At first, I'm driving over the Great Salt Flats. I feel the acceleration as I hit the throttle. I hear the powerful growl of the engine (probably my snoring in reality). Getting pushed back into the red leather seat. What a rush. A great drive. Total control. No sense of losing traction or anything even though I'm going 588 mph (don't ask me where I got 588 mph, but it had jumped from 418 really fast... great writers). Amazing engineering, I think. I want this car!

Next, I'm cruising the PCH and then into town at 100+ mph. This thing handles like it's on rails. The cops don't pull me over because of a unique radar blocking option the car comes with. When I am shot with the radar gun, the car returns a signal of 65 mph. Cool, eh?

Why am I wearing this gay helmet though? Yeah, it was appropriate for the flats, but in town? Hey there's a radio buzzing inside it. It's my brother asking how I like the ride. Of course, he is Racer X.

I wake up in the middle of thinking of where I will find spare parts for the Mach 5. I will need a backup windshield (which we all know has the plans secretly etched in it) which will be hard to find. And I'm thinking I'll need some blade sharpening tools.

If only it were real.

And now I find that my dream has come true. In writing this today I found a link to some guys in L.A. that have actually built both Speed Racer's and Racer X's cars! All I need is about $75,000.

11/29/2002 05:05:00 PM

I made it. I am now in the "over" portion of the contest by a day. Still no likey-person. Still no new bar. That's cool though.
11/29/2002 04:51:00 PM

Tuesday, November 19, 2002  
9 days to go.

Although I am not actively trying to win the over/under contest (if I were I'd be taking the over), it appears as though I may. As of now, I like... nobody. Bad thing is I haven't found a new bar yet either. To those playing at home, yes, that is a bad thing. I'm not going back to sitting on the floor of my closet in my underwear sucking cheap bourbon from a bottle; as frugal as that may sound! I'd rather pay 4 bucks for cheap bourbon whilest sitting comfortably on a barstool fully clothed. And I think the other patrons would appreciate the clothed part.

So if I were to like somebody, I'd like the following. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say I would love these girls (if it weren't for the restraining order which would be in place the moment I seriously tried to approach any of them). So here it is, Paulie's top five dream girls.

Number 1: Sofia Vergara - Columbian model/actress, but she's got a ten year old kid and would he accept me or be suspicious of his mother's new love interest?

Number 2: Salma Hayek - Actress, but she's dating Ed Norton and he seems pretty cool and I couldn't do that to him.

Number 3: Shannon Elizabeth - Actress, but she is kinda young. May not be age appropriate.
Side note: I just noticed something similar about all three of these girls so far. They're all... Virgos. Wow! Just like me!

Number 4: Brooke Burke - Former hostess with the mostest of E!'s Wild On, but she could stand to lose about 170 pounds in the form of her husband.

Number 5: Lisa Guerrero - Sports Anchor for the Best Damn Sports Show Period on FoxSports, but she could actually be my cousin.

OK, I don't wanna point out the obvious here, but it sucks when even your dream girls aren't perfect! Hey, what am I saying? They're just about worthless. They'd be unattainable even if they were attainable. What the fuck!?! Am I just too grounded in reality (shut up)? Or am I just too picky?

And before you get on me for my list, it IS diverse, dammit! There's a Chilean, Columbian, Mexican, Eurasian, and a mut! See? I have diverse tastes, so that's not it either.

I just don't think there's anybody out there to like...

... let alone love...



If only Ashleigh (say it with me "Ash-lehhhhh-ahhhh") would come back to Dallas where she belongs. Then again, I'd have to get over my aversion to French Canadians...

11/19/2002 02:37:00 AM

Monday, November 11, 2002  

It happened again. I can hardly believe it. You know, if this keeps up I'm likely to start not feeling so cool anymore. Thank God for the shoes. I'll always feel cool so long as I have my shoes.

She said she'd call. She seemed excited about eating. Who wouldn't? I mean, it's food! And good food too. She didn't call though. Still hasn't. I called her 3 times yesterday.

So I guess all that "playing" about being mean was not so much an act.

Well that just sounds pathetic, doesn't it? I swear though, the nicest girl I've been out with in the last year... the one who had it most together... who didn't diss me in front of my face... who even bought me dinner sometimes... was the one who had the least to gain from my affections (in my view). She was by far the prettiest; and not just in my opinion... she could have anybody in this city. She actually called me when she wanted to talk. I felt like I was with a movie star when we went out. We got all sorts of special treatment. I didn't have to go out of my way to be nice to her and she appreciated the little things more than anybody I've known. Sometimes we just hung out at her apartment and cooked for each other.

Now why did I stop calling her? Oh right! Too wild for me in the end, I thought. Judgemental me.

"Hey. Strippers are people too," my friend told me tonight.

There you have it.

So, he's put the over/under on me liking the next girl at 16 days. I dunno though. It might take me that long just to find a new bar that I like.

11/11/2002 10:25:00 PM

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